I am that I am
by leighton.c
Summary: She let herself go. She was wild and untamed. She was dangerous. Blackwater-ish one-shot.


_**a/n: I found this on my computer from I don't know how long ago. Before I made this account and I tried writing a fanfic to see how it would turn out. The poem is what Leah would be saying/thinking and her thought's wouldn't really be fully formed or coherent as she would be wild. **_

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.** I simply used a poem (I am that I am) and Story (Twilight) to make this: a pathetic little one-shot that no-one will read. Gosh. I need a life.

* * *

She let go of it all. She was what she was. She was everything but she was nothing.

I am the wind. I am the rain. I am what you take shelter from. I am what you avoid. What you fear. I destroy that which is whole.

I am the sun. I am all that shines. I am what you take refuge in. I am what brings a smile to your life. But I am also that which holds that does not shine. I am what you hate.

I am all of all-ness. I am the nothing of nothingness. I am what you see. I am all you need but nothing you want. I am what you ignore and what you should**  
**  
I am you. I am the very source of your being. I am the object of your desire. But I am also what you least desire. I am me. I am you.

* * *

She was what he needed. He sought refuge in her on countless occasions. He swore he was different. That he wasn't Sam. That she didn't need worry. He wouldn't hurt her. She was his life. Until it happened.  
Then she was nothing. She was forgotten. Brushed aside. A mere memory. So she left. Or that's what she told everyone.  
She hid in the background. Watching. Waiting. She lived like the wolf she was never meant to be. Not thinking. Just being.  
She let go of the last of her humanity. There was no use in keeping it. It only brought more pain. More suffering. So she embraced the animal in her. She was wild. Untamed.  
For the humans in her life were what brought on her pain.  
She lived to haunt him forever. To constantly remind him of all those broken promises.

* * *

I am wild. I am free. I am alone for I take care in making myself known to you. I am what you do not understand.**.**

I am what no one can claim. I am independent.

I am in your heart. I am in your mind. I am in your soul. You may not know. I am what makes you whole.

I am in all of you. I am your emotions. I am your thoughts. I am your actions. I am what she should be.

* * *

He always blamed it on over-exertion; whenever he sees flashes of the grey wolf that has a remarkable resemblance to her. He tried his hardest not to fall apart when he thought of her.  
Hi hardest was almost never enough. He doubled over as sobs racked his body. He didn't want to leave her. But he had to. Being away from his imprint hurt more than being  
away from her. Though he didn't like to admit it. At first he tried to fight it. But it became too much. The pain of not being with her could have killed him; so he gave up. He could no longer resist fate.  
He turned into what he swore he wouldn't. He turned into the person who had hurt her most. He had turned into Sam.

* * *

I am the epitome of evil. I am the purest of pure. I am what I am. But it does not matter. I do not judge my actions. I may kill. I may hurt. For good or for naught matters not for do I not judge myself as you judge me.

I am love. I am nameless. I am formless. For nothing can contain me. I am your soul mate. But also your worst enemy. I am that I am. Untamed.

I am the alpha. I am the omega. I am that which haunts you. I am that which has no concept of right or wrong. Of judging, of being evil or of being good. That is why I did it. I have nothing to fear.

* * *

She did it because she had to. Because she knew it wasn't how it should have ended. Nothing was how it should have ended. The imprint went against nature. It was wrong. She shouldn't have been shunned into the darkness. She should not be hiding. She should not be living like this. Like a monster.  
She planned it when he was out on patrol and his "imprint", even the word made her gag, was left alone in her parent's cottage.  
She wrote a note for him. Just 2 lines. He deserved no more. Not after what he did.

_This is not how it should have ended up. She shouldn't exist, and for that matter neither should I. _

She didn't waste her precious time on goodbyes for people who hurt her in so many ways. No she mustn't delay this any further.

* * *

I am your surroundings. I am your life. I am what you depend on. I am your protection. I am your shelter.

I am your friend. I am your foe. I am your mate. I am your guardian angel. I am that which seeks to destroy you.

I am nothing yet I am everything. I am that which has nothing to fear. I am alone.

I am all that and more.

* * *

She openly walked into the cottage with nothing to fear.  
She walked into his "imprints" room with a gun. Ready and loaded. The sickly sweet smell burned her nose. She felt nauseous. These creatures were disgusting.  
His "imprint" was asleep. Innocent. But she didn't see that. She just saw something vile. Something which shouldn't exist. That was the sole reason she was standing here. Human.  
Walking on two legs threw her off balance. She hadn't been human for months. It was unnerving.  
She pointed the gun at his "imprints" head and took a deep breath. She pulled the trigger and a horrific bang filled the air. Blood spurted over the sheets. Over the wall. Everywhere.  
She didn't care. She had a job to finish. Knowing he would be the one to find her she left her note on his "imprints" body and went to finish what she started. She whispered "I Love You" before putting the gun in her mouth and pulling the trigger.  
It was over.

* * *

I am in your lovers eyes. I am in your child. I am what you should have chosen. I am what you chose to leave behind.

I am what you tried to forget but what you constantly remember. I am what makes your life complete

* * *

He felt as if the whole world had ended. Every part of him was in pain. He knew something had happened. He was almost crippled by the pain.  
He ran to the cottage, phased and walked into the cottage, the smell of death was thick in the air.  
He walked in and saw what he hoped was his mind playing tricks on him.  
Lying next side by side were the 2 women he had loved most in his life. Dead.

Something caught his eye and walking over to his "imprints" body he picked up the note and read it. Hot tears stung his eyes as he read and re-read those 2 lines she had written.  
He picked up the gun lying next to her and put it to his head. He pulled the trigger and fell to the floor, next to the 2 women he loved the most.

It was over.

* * *

We are not separate

We were 2 halves of a whole.

I am you.

I am you. I am me. We are one.

I am known to you.

I am hidden from you.

I live in you.

I am in your mind. I am in your body. I am in your soul.

I express in you.

Even if you chose to conceal from me.

I am unity.

* * *

**There they lay. Limp, lifeless and alone. But together.**


End file.
